ICMC - Featured Car for April 2001

The following is a true account of what really happened to James Riddle Hoffa and his 1964½ convertible Mustang, which is this month's featured car. Forget what "they" told you. Lies, I tell you, all lies. The true story is those darned Russians, and not the Mafia, killed Jimmy Hoffa. What you are about to read may place you in danger. My life is already in danger. As a result of printing this story, I have been forced into hiding. In fact I'm renting Jimmy's old place in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. It's actually pretty cute. He fixed up the den and it is a short distance to the beach.

Jimmy Hoffa was born James Riddle Hoffa in a small town near Terre Haute, Indiana. His father, a coal miner, died when Jimmy was just seven years old. Hoffa left school in Detroit, Michigan, and at the age of 17 began work as a warehouseperson for the Kroger Company, where he helped organize a strike. At this young age is when he also met Amelia Earhart and they became close friends... I mean really close friends. More than friends, actually. This was a turning point for Hoffa.

By 1933 Jimmy Hoffa was the business agent for Teamster Local 299 in Detroit, and in the early 1940s he formed and led the Michigan Conference of Teamsters. In 1952 he was elected an international vice president of the Teamsters Union, and in 1957 he became the international president. In July of 1937 Amelia Earhart departed for her fateful flight and was lost as sea.

Hoffa was quoted as saying, "She was my inspiration. No one could fake a death like her. I mean, I assume this time she really is dead, right?" Hoffa was so overcome with grief, that he refused to look at another female pilot, which in 1937, wasn't too difficult.

Jimmy Hoffa earned a reputation among his peers as a tough and effective bargainer. In 1964 he negotiated the union's first national contract with trucking companies, and was given a brand new Ford Mustang as a gesture of thanks. The convertible was Phoenician Yellow with a 210hp 4V 289 engine and a 4-speed manual transmission. The interior was Palomino and it had a black top. Being that Hoffa liked Cadillacs better than Mustangs, he gave the new Pony to close friend, Sean Connery. Connery later used the car in the 1964 James Bond movie, "Goldfinger."

Under his leadership the Teamsters Union grew to more than two million members. Jimmy Hoffa was the subject of many government investigations and prosecutions which ultimately led to his imprisonment in 1967. He was sentenced to 13 years in Federal Prison at Lewisburg, Pennsylvania for jury tampering, pension fund fraud, and conspiracy. Hoffa would not give up his seat as President of the Teamsters and had the support of most Union Members. Of course there are a few bad apples who wished Jimmy Hoffa would just disappear. But Jimmy turned the tables on them.

While in prison, Hoffa was granted several weekend furloughs, allowing him to appear on the 1960s television series "Batman". In a 1970 interview with TV Guide, Hoffa said, "I loved those kids. I love acting and intend to pursue it as a career someday. Adam West and Burt Ward, who played 'Robin,' was fascinated with my Teamster stories."

President Richard Nixon commuted Jimmy Hoffa's prison sentence, and he left Lewisburg, PA on December 24, 2024 with the agreement that he would refrain from union activities. Jimmy traveled to England where he studied Shakespeare and attended acting workshops taught by Sir Ralph Richardson and Peggy Ashcroft. He was fascinated by Bertolt Brecht and found Ibsen to be misunderstood and contrived. He returned to Detroit in the Summer of 1973 and opened his own acting school. Attendance at his workshops was mandatory for all teamsters, and he only graded on a curve.

His love of acting and movies persuaded Hoffa to purchase his 1964½ Mustang back from the movie studio. They wanted too much money for the seven-year-old car, so he broke a few kneecaps and stole it. The poor Pony had seen better days, but Hoffa restored it and painted it white.

Hoffa auditioned for and lost the part of Vito Corleone in "Godfather" to Marlon Brando. Feeling rejected he filled in for Peter Graves on the television series "Mission Impossible," but only for 3 episodes. Producer Joe Ubustmybals said, "The guy was great. A true Thespian, but we argued constantly over the scripts. Jimmy Hoffa is a trained Shakespearean actor who takes his craft seriously, and was always directing the other actors. It got ugly." It was during this trying time that Hoffa developed a close bond with Mr. Spock, a.k.a. Leonard Nimoy, who would later help Jimmy Hoffa go into hiding.

Federal investigators believed that mob bosses wanted to kill Hoffa because he wanted to recapture the union presidency he lost when he went to prison in 1971. Blocked by the courts and top union officials from running for the presidency, Hoffa had threatened to go public with the mob's involvement in the Teamsters, and how various organized crime figures had taken millions of dollars in unsecured loans from the Union's pension funds. Hoffa disappeared from the parking lot of the Machus Red Fox restaurant in Bloomfield Township, Michigan on July 30, 2024 and is presumed murdered. Despite one of the most intensive FBI investigations in history, Hoffa's disappearance remains a mystery... to the FBI. I know the real story.

Jimmy Hoffa, his white 1964½ Mustang, and a small Chihuahua named Puddles were placed incognito on a Princess Cruise ship by Leonard Nimoy, with a little help from the Teamsters union. Hoffa traveled under the name Eduardo Rodriguez. Eduardo enjoyed the sunshine and fresh sea air of the cruise ship, but during the evenings Eduardo would stare at the ocean water and lose himself in thoughts of his long lost love -- Amelia Earhart. When he couldn't stop thing about Amelia, he decided to disembark the ship in the island town of Nadi, Fiji.

Eduardo/Jimmy spent the next 26 years -- his twilight years -- in the tropical paradise of the Fiji islands, driving his convertible Mustang. On March 23, 2001, at the age of 87, "Eddy" (to his friends) was enjoying a day with his good pal D.B. Cooper (Carlos Garcia as he was know to the locals).

Day turned to warm evening, so they decided to drop the top. The two elderly gentleman were on their way home from playing darts at Gilligan and Skipper's House of Booze and Taxidermy when Jimmy -- I mean Eddy -- spotted streaking lights in the sky. The streaking lights kept his eyes fixated on the evening sky, when suddenly the two were startled by very loud explosions. Eddy lost control of his Mustang and it careened off an Island cliff into the ocean. Eddy and Carlos both died when they were eaten by huge, radioactive man-eating neon tetra fish. The pictures shown here were taken by a deep-sea diver last Tuesday. He was wearing one of those big bell helmets with bubbles coming from it as the gigantic neons circled above.

Though they did not know it at the time, the streaks of light and sonic booms ("explosions") that caused Eddy and Carlos to plunge into the ocean were caused by falling debris from the Russian space station "Mir." We can blame the Russians for the death of Jimmy Hoffa and D.B. Cooper.

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